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Afraid to Sing?

There is a stigma around singing poorly (or thinking you aren’t very good). That’s unfortunate because most people can learn to sing better.

Boukje van Gelder

"I also play a little piano"

10:38. The train to Den Bosch departs and I am sitting between the compartments with my cello. This is an unusual sight for some people, so they often start talking to me. The woman with whom I share this not-quite-a-compartment asks me: “Do you study cello?” I tell her I’m studying at the conservatory, but in vocals. The cello is just because I enjoy it. “Interesting,” she says, “I also play a little piano.” 

Worthless voice

This is something many musicians often hear and sometimes find annoying. But if you think about it, these are just people who feel connected to what you do because they also like making music. When I say I’m a singer and in the Master Vocal program, I often hear something very different. A common response is: “Cool! You don’t want to hear me sing, though! I sound terrible.” So when you say you play an instrument, people like to share that they also play an instrument, even if it’s just a little. But when you sing, people quickly want to make it clear that they really can’t do that.

As a vocal coach, this phenomenon interests me. When people tell me they can’t sing, I immediately wonder: okay, but do they like it? Because maybe, when they’re home alone, they secretly sing along very loudly with their favorite music while doing the dishes. And maybe it’s not even that terrible, but they were caught and laughed at by a family member who said they sang terribly off-key.

The Chosen Ones with the Golden Voices

If you see yourself in this story, you are not alone. Many people make singing something that is reserved for a special group of people with a good voice. Think about how many people play on one of the wings in the train stations in the Netherlands! Would you stand there and sing because you have a few minutes before your train leaves? Why do we dare to pound out the Flea Waltz on those out-of-tune pianos without having practiced even for a moment, but are afraid our family will hear us when we sing in the shower? In choirs, people are afraid their neighbors will hear what they are doing and even I hate it when people listen to me while I’m studying.

Imagine if singing wasn’t something for the chosen ones with golden voices. What if singing at the station was as normal as playing the piano. What if you weren’t always punished by your surroundings for one wrong note or a slightly off-key sound?

There is one thing we often forget when it comes to singing: You need to train it.

Blog-sing-like-usain-bolt.jpg

Singing like Usain Bolt

Because there is one thing we often forget when it comes to singing, and that is that you have to train it. You train your ears and vocal cords to sing the right notes, and you train your body to sing these notes in a healthy and free way. Imagine you haven’t exercised for five years and now you want to start running. You buy shoes, hire a trainer, and start. After one training session, your partner tells you: “You look like a monkey when you run. You’ll never be the next Usain Bolt!”

Dare to sing

Singing is a skill, a skill you can train and learn. The most important thing is that you dare to sing and experiment with what your voice can do. You are not hopeless, because less than five percent of people are genuinely not musical.¹ Singing lessons can help boost your confidence and improve your technique. Yes, you might sing off-key at times. Yes, you might also make a cracking sound. And no, you’re probably not the next Beyoncé or Maria Callas. But that doesn’t mean you’re worthless, that you can’t learn anything, and that you can’t enjoy singing!

Not so afraid to sing anymore?

Get to know your voice better in group singing lessons or private lessons.

In the next blog, I will discuss what we perceive as a beautiful voice, with examples from different music styles.

¹For example, search on Google for Amusia or read this blog about learning to sing in tune.

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